what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
