the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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