Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
