Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
