Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
