Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
