we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
