Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
True strength comes from lack of pants
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
