My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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