I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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