Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
