The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
