M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
