It's Friday. Sex?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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