SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
