conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
