K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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