Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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