$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
