how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
