Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
