I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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