Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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