I faked an abortion last night.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
