i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Randomize
