Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hippo gnu deer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
