is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
