i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
