Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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