ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
