its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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