Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
