I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this beer tastes like vomit already
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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