I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
