Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
