somebody snuck up and got me drunk
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
