just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
