guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
