Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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