It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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