in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
