College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
