I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
