when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So much rum. So many feels.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
These tits shall not be calmed
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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