apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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