Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
