Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
