If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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