tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
