...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
