please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
