I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
