I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize