wrigley field is MILF paradise
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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