i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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