I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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