Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize