Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
