Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
