sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
