I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
