then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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