She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
