Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
