Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
