Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
