i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
