Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
