Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Randomize
