I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
